Part 10: Suprising Behaviour

things with hamad..were so-so to say the least..


i don't know maybe we were better when it was online-on the phone-and long distance...


when we did talk, we end up fighting for some reason we just don't get each other...i was frustrated at myself...was it my fault..i kept comparing him to...the ex..and he wasn't adding up to be honest....he didn't call like he did...he didn't message like he did..he doesn't have cute nicknames for me like he did...was this doomed?!??!


i talked to my best friend about it...she told me: take things slow..see how it goes..this is supposed to be fun and refreshing..don't take everything so personally..be more carefree...

hmmm....i decided that my best friend knows best...so ill start being more easy going with hamad...


a usual day would be something like this:


i wake up in the morning -get ready- on the way to work..call him..he talks for a few and shuts the phone...during the day no message/ no calls...


i leave work : i call and see how he's doing...


he calls ONE time going to football practise or gahwa...and he checks to see where im at..


before i go to bed...i call again...and he's usually fil maylas or somewhere...


hmmmm was this normal? even if we just started but Khalid was nothing like that..we knew were the other person was during the day and we talked before going to bedtime -our ritual-


this happened almost everyday...i noticed that it was just me calling...


i decided to talk to Hamad about this the next time we see each other...

i mentioned to Hamad we should go out, and he decided to squeeze me in his busy schedule...so we went out to the movies...i picked him up from his house which was in Saar and we went together...i was silent on the way because i was thinking how and when to say what i wanted to say...Hamad was talking about work..football..the guys..i was pretty much updated with what he does everyday with everyone else..except with me..he didn't know much about my day..my work hmmm....this is not a good sign...

we went to the movies..and both of us were too into the movie to even talk..he held my hands in the movie which was cute of him..he covered my eyes during the scary parts..sometimes i feel we get along and sometimes not at all..it was always extremes...

we go to my car..and go inside..he asks..ha baby where now?

i say..where do you want? its 3pm now..when's your doctor's appointment?

he says: yeah...i gotta be home then to take my car..how about you drop me now?

I decided that this was it! It was only 2 and he wanted to go home now which was 5 min away...we both get in the car..and i started...i told him how i feel...

i told him that i needed more...that i wanted someone who would act like a proper boyfriend...and i told him about his lack of calls..messeges..and well concerns..

hamad didn't like what i had to say...he was quickly becoming very defensive...

i suggested we take a break...and hamad suddenly became very silent..
i felt a pang of regret but maybe this was for the best; maybe he will step up now...