Part 10: Suprising Behaviour

things with hamad..were so-so to say the least..


i don't know maybe we were better when it was online-on the phone-and long distance...


when we did talk, we end up fighting for some reason we just don't get each other...i was frustrated at myself...was it my fault..i kept comparing him to...the ex..and he wasn't adding up to be honest....he didn't call like he did...he didn't message like he did..he doesn't have cute nicknames for me like he did...was this doomed?!??!


i talked to my best friend about it...she told me: take things slow..see how it goes..this is supposed to be fun and refreshing..don't take everything so personally..be more carefree...

hmmm....i decided that my best friend knows best...so ill start being more easy going with hamad...


a usual day would be something like this:


i wake up in the morning -get ready- on the way to work..call him..he talks for a few and shuts the phone...during the day no message/ no calls...


i leave work : i call and see how he's doing...


he calls ONE time going to football practise or gahwa...and he checks to see where im at..


before i go to bed...i call again...and he's usually fil maylas or somewhere...


hmmmm was this normal? even if we just started but Khalid was nothing like that..we knew were the other person was during the day and we talked before going to bedtime -our ritual-


this happened almost everyday...i noticed that it was just me calling...


i decided to talk to Hamad about this the next time we see each other...

i mentioned to Hamad we should go out, and he decided to squeeze me in his busy schedule...so we went out to the movies...i picked him up from his house which was in Saar and we went together...i was silent on the way because i was thinking how and when to say what i wanted to say...Hamad was talking about work..football..the guys..i was pretty much updated with what he does everyday with everyone else..except with me..he didn't know much about my day..my work hmmm....this is not a good sign...

we went to the movies..and both of us were too into the movie to even talk..he held my hands in the movie which was cute of him..he covered my eyes during the scary parts..sometimes i feel we get along and sometimes not at all..it was always extremes...

we go to my car..and go inside..he asks..ha baby where now?

i say..where do you want? its 3pm now..when's your doctor's appointment?

he says: yeah...i gotta be home then to take my car..how about you drop me now?

I decided that this was it! It was only 2 and he wanted to go home now which was 5 min away...we both get in the car..and i started...i told him how i feel...

i told him that i needed more...that i wanted someone who would act like a proper boyfriend...and i told him about his lack of calls..messeges..and well concerns..

hamad didn't like what i had to say...he was quickly becoming very defensive...

i suggested we take a break...and hamad suddenly became very silent..
i felt a pang of regret but maybe this was for the best; maybe he will step up now...

Part 9: Complications

im frustrated..and angry...
maybe i expected a lot from Hamad...why did i jump so soon to another relationship...

all these thoughts were running in my mind...i don't know why i was feeling this way...it was just little things that have been adding up...

Hamad was still as nice as ever..but it was different..

he still acted like it was long distance..he didn't call or message much..it was like how it was when he was in the States,,except the only difference we see each other occasionally...maybe its because Hamad started to work in his family's company and was always super busy...

It all started like this...

Ana: Hamad...baby..when will i see you?
Hamad: hun..im busy today...i have a football game after work..and then i have to meet the guys at the gahwa...
Ana: ummm...ok i guess..another day....you want lunch tomorrow?
Hamad: hun u know that lunch with the guys is a must....

( Ana...hmm lunch with the guys a must..gahwa after dawam a must...so when is me time? !??! )
i let it go...but this was happening more and more...Hamad kept saying no to any kind of plans.. he was always busy...and when he was not he would try to " schedule 30 min " before football..

maybe i was being too sensitive or over analyzing every little detail..I'm not sure...

one day when Hamad agreed to see me before football practise...we were cruising in saar..our usual hang out..we were catching up with one another...

Hamad asked: hun i know we said we're seeing how this goes? but umm....should i change my facebook status?
ana: (laughing) you mean change your " its complicated" status...?
Hamad: (blushing) no...this was a long time ago..with my gf i mean ex..it was complicated..so ill just leave it like that then...
ana : ( a bit relieved) yeah its fine hamad...

Hamad continued to talk about his ex...and how they were supposed to be married when he finishes university...but she started dating other guys...and he found out...

i asked: do you still keep in touch with her?
hamad replied " yeah..we're friends she calls me when she knows I'm back in Bahrain..and asks about me and the family -u know...
i replied: oh ok....

to be honest..i didn't know and i had a bad feeling about this...

as we were cruising...he pointed to a friend's house..this is my buddy's house...
and this over there is the ex's house...

i commented: wow-she's everywhere today...
hamad: (laughing) no...she's not...
i asked: i dont know how to say this...but...do you still have feelings for her?
Hamad answered: noooooo !! are you serious? i dont-this was a long time ago...im over her..

i had a feeling that wouldn't be the last of it...
to say the least i was disappointed...why do i always end up for people with excess baggage?